Cougar

A friend call me the other day to tell me that she heard this "really nice " single guy talk in church and she thought, “I should really line Chris up with this guy.” I giggled politely and said, “Well, that would be nice.” The problem was that she really did not know much about him. She knew the basics like where he grew-up, where he went to law school, that he is a lawyer for a DC law firm, he is divorced and he has a five year old little boy. However, she didn’t even know his name!

Well, the other night, I saw my friend and after looking at her ward directory, we figured out his name. Then I went home and did what any smart single woman does, I goggled him. Through Google I confirmed where he grew up; I even found the name of his high school. I confirmed where he went to law school, where he works and then I found out that he is 7 years younger than me (let’s just call me cougar!). I sent my friend a text and nicely told her that I wasn’t sure that I single guy in his late 20’s was going to be that excited about going out with a woman in her mid-thirties. I do know successful stories of women marrying younger men but still...7 years?! (My old boss did marry a man 10 years younger and they have been happily married for 25 years.) I usually date men older than me (the last two have been 8 years older). However, I am not going to second guess progress so, if he wants to go grab dinner, I am game. Who knows, I might have a little cougar in me after all.

Mix n' Mingle- Round 3

Last Sunday was the Mix n' Mingle- Round 3. I had such a busy, crazy weekend that I decided that my potluck contribution would have to be something easy to prepare. So I decide on a 3 ingredient dish. You take a round of brie (Costco has very affordable brie), fig jam, and crackers. Sounds fancy, right?

You put the fig jam over the brie and you serve with crackers. So easy and really delicious. I usually put the cheese and jam in the oven to make everything soft and gooey but this time, I didn't want to have to worry about cooking anything at the church so I just brought the cheese to room temperature and everyone loved it.

As for the mix n' mingle, I saw a couple of my friends but for the most part it was not well attended. (I think most people were just on vacation.) Still, I had a nice time and because I went to 9 am church, I got a Sunday nap.

Going Car Shopping #2

Due to the fact that I have decided to go car shopping (see last post), I have been on the look out. I had this exchange with myself on the metro a few days ago. (No, I am not crazy (entirely), I just spend a lot of time on my own)

It all started when I saw a good looking bald guy walking down the escalator.

Me: Wow, he is kind-of cute.

I walk past him as he goes to buy a metro card.

Me: I wonder if I will see him again, he was cute.

Sitting down reading my newspaper waiting for the train.

Me: Oh, there he is and. . .OH, he is sitting down next to me. WHY?? There are plenty of other seats.

Me: (now pretending to read the newspaper) I should say something. BUT WHAT?! Maybe I should offer him some of my paper to read. THAT IS LAME. He could get his own free paper. But maybe he wants to read. THAT IS LAME. Ok, I should ask him what time it is. Umm, you have a watch on, duh! Oh yeah, I could take the watch off. Like he wouldn't notice. I wonder if I look ok or if he can tell that I am pretending to read the newspaper. I could tell him I like his shoes. That is a weird thing to say to a boy. I could ask him directions. LAME. You look like you are going to work and you are not one of those girls who needs directions. You are too smart for that line. ummmm, maybe the shoe comment? NO. You know if he was interested, he could say something to you. Oh, the train is coming. He is walking to that car. Should I follow him? No.

So, I got on the other train. Lame, yes. Safe, yes. Crazy, just a bit.

Maybe this is why people shop for car at car lots. It is just easier big selection and everyone know why you are there.

Going Car Shopping

Most mornings while I am riding to work on the metro, I read a free paper published by the Washington Post. It is small enough so that you don't have to hold your arms up to read it and thus you can stay in your own personal space (very important on a crowded metro). One section that I love is what they call the Blog Log. They find and publish bits and pieces of blogs on many various topics. I usually get a good laugh and then I pray that they never find my blog. Here is an entry from a few weeks ago that I saved because I could not have agreed with it more. This is from lacochran's blog.

"Over time, I've noticed that in men and in cars, I've come to require the same list of non-negotiable things (in no particular order):

• Not girly.
• Not all flash.
• Designed with intelligence.
  
• Solid.
  
• Agile and responsive.
  
• Doesn't get all shaky and fall apart if I push the envelope.
• Thrilling.
• Dependably consistent.
• Not jerky.
  

Notice how I didn't mention cup holders? I'm all kinds of classy like that,
Not too much to ask, now is it? It took me a long time to get clear on that but I am.
So, yeah, non-negotiable. You say I'm spoiled. I say I'm clear on objectives. Tomato, tomahto."

I think if I added friendly to the environment, I would be all set. Now all I have to do is go car shopping.

Chasing away the blues. . .

When I was in junior high, my older sister Anne’s piano teacher gave her a piece of music to learn over her summer break and to perform at the high school’s concerto night the following school year. All summer long and into the school year, my sister practiced and practiced this piece of music. On sunny days, my mom would open all the windows in the house (lack of central air conditioning) and let my sister’s music mix with the sun, the wind, and the blue skies. I was and still am amazed at the beauty of the piece and its complexity. I have probably heard the piece hundreds and hundreds of times as it became the soundtrack to my family’s life for that year.

I have this memory of being in the high school auditorium watching Anne performed her piece. When it was over I heard her piano teacher yelling, “BRAVO! BRAVO!” I still get choked-up over the memory. I can’t express my sense of awe and admiration I had for my sister that day.

Last night I went to the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra’s last summer concert at the Strathmore Center. I went with three friends that I had met through the mix n’ mingle at church (all girls). After the few weeks I have had at work, the music felt like it was healing my soul. I know that sounds trite but I needed something to give me a little lift and the concert hall, my friends, and the music did it. The Strathmore Concert Center is only 30 minutes from my house and I can’t believe it has taken me this long to go.

When I received the email asking me if I wanted to go to the concert, I jumped at the chance because the concert was entitled, “A Tribute to Gershwin & Bernstein” and I was thrilled to hear my sister’s piece performed.

The conductor was Bramwell Trovey. He was extremely funny and he explained each piece in a way that allowed you to envision the music. The highlight of the evening was when Bramwell Trovey played and conducted the piece of music that is so ingrained into my head, Rhapsody in Blue. He started by standing and conducting the clarinet solo that is so famous and then went and sat down at the piano to do his part. It was so engaging to watch him masterfully conduct and play and sometimes conduct with his head as he played. I wish you could have all been there because it was magical and I still get choke-up thinking about the performance and the night. And all I can say is, BRAVO! BRAVO!

12 Dates, No Kisses

After all the hype and all the nerves, I went, I saw, and I survived my first speed dating experience. I have to say that I was kind-of hoping for a few more ridiculous interactions to write about on my blog. I was looking for something a bit salacious to balance out all of the pre-dating anxiety. I guess I could write about the guy at the restaurant (who was not part of the speed dating) who sat down to "date" me for 4 minutes. That was strange and a bit creepy, and he touched my knee two too many times. I could also write about the one guy that was so clearly 15- 20 years older than me (which would make him 25-30 years old than Emma). Not so cool. I could end the post about how we got turned around on our way home and ending up on an army base.

However, instead of sensational, I would say that speed dating was fine. Not overwhelming good or bad, just fine. I met some very nice guys. I didn’t think that any of them have long term potential but I would not mind running into some of them again. The hardest part for me was at the end. You have a sheet of paper with all of the names of your “dates” and you have to pick who you liked. I felt bad that I wasn’t picking some of the guys because I didn’t want to hurt their feelings (I know, dumb!). So, if I had more than 5 minutes to pick, I probably would have picked fewer guys. You live and you learn. I don’t know yet if I “matched” with anyone (meaning I picked them and they picked me) but I really don’t care. It was actually surprising comfortable and I would do it again. I am glad that I went because I learned a lot about myself and I learned a few things that will be on the non-negotiable list like, must not hate, in fact must strongly like, maybe even possibly love Utah. So, 12 dates and no kisses, that has to be some sort of record (just kidding, Mom).

Go SPEEDRACER...GO!

I feel that I have told most people but here is a confession. I signed up for a speed dating night. OHHH. I can already hear the "yahoos" and the "are you crazy?" comments. For the record, the movies make speed dating look so fun and interesting so I thought I would try it out. (I know, the movies make lots of things look fun and I should not use that as any sort of gauge.) However, to be honest, the moment that I signed up I regretted it. The only redeem grace was that I thought, "Well, at least I can blog about it." Hours of potential torture and I am excited because I can write about it...sick, sick, sick.

I told a few co-workers that I signed up for the speed dating event and here is one exchange I had:
Me: "So, did I tell you I signed up for a Speed Dating event?"
Mormon co-worker: "Seriously?"
Me: "Yeah, it is organized by a professional group in D.C. and they put together Jewish, Catholic, etc. speed dating events and I signed up for the Mormon Speed Dating event."
Mormon co-worker: (Coughing while saying), "Boring. You know they actually call that a scripture chase, Moses 1:34"
Me: (Laughing) "Well, it gets better, it is on July 24th (Pioneer Day for all you non-Utahans) and they are holding it at a wine bar."
Mormon co-worker: (Laughing) "Yeah, that is funny."

Our conversation concluded by his telling me how he is so glad that he didn't have to be in the dating scene and how he felt bad that I had to be. Not that I wasn't nervous before but that night I went online and found an article entitled, The Pros and Cons of Speed Dating by Amy Schoen. It was actually very helpful at putting the situation into perspective.

Here is part of the article , (it is long but if you interested in Speed Dating, it is a good read)

Let me give you a bit of a set up: Most speed dating organizations organize the event by age groups, interests, even religions. You arrive at a bar, restaurant or community center with about 2 dozen other singles - half women and half men. You sign in and are given a number and a card for taking notes about the people you meet.Pairs are assigned and you find the person for which you will begin with. Different organizations have different time limits. The time to spend together can range from 2 minutes to 10 minutes. After the first round, you move onto subsequent rounds with a new partner. If you are interested in someone, you put their number on the card.By the end, if both people like each other and put each other's numbers down on the card submitted to the organizers, then they receive each other's contact information so they can meet outside the event. However, if one person puts down an individual and that person doesn't reciprocate, then no contact information is given out. Below are some Pros and Cons to consider so you will be aware of what you may be facing in this kind of dating prospect venue.

Cons of Speed Dating:

1. How you decide to meet someone is based on superficial stuff - it's only natural to judge someone on looks and first impressions. You may be turned off right away and then not make any effort reach deeper to get to know someone's inner soul.
2. If you know that you have no interest in someone, you still have to spend the rest of the time talking to him or her. This can be torturous - especially if your partner has no conversational skills. Minutes can seem like hours!
3. You have to subject yourself to rejection. What if you like someone and they don't like you back? Speed dating is not for the thin-skinned person. Your inner critic will have a field day if no one picks you.
4. There may be a cute guy across the room (okay, we can't help being superficial!) and you are never paired up with him because of time constraints. You may never get a chance to meet him. It seems like the stars are conspiring against you and there was a major opportunity lost.
5. No connections were made; you feel like the evening was a waste of time and wish that you stayed home that night watching Gray's Anatomy!

Yes, speed dating can be a disappointment ... but the good news is that there have been successful meetings at these events. I know a married couple who met this way. I also have had clients meet nice people to date. Here is the positive side of speed dating.

Pros of Speed Dating:

1. You get to meet at least a half dozen people who are inclined to give you their undivided attention for the time allotted.
2. If you sit back and relax, you can get a sense of someone, their demeanor and their essence - whether it's positive or negative. This is when it's helpful to know how to read body language.
3. You know the majority of people are serious about meeting someone to date. Why else would someone subject themselves to this?
4. You can see if you can carry a conversation with someone. You'll find out if there are interests in common. You may not meet the love of your life, but you could find a person who could be a life long friend.
5. You may actually meet someone you like that you would consider dating. Now you're ahead of where you were when you walked in the door!

I wish I had read this article BEFORE I signed up because apparently, I am actually paying for the experience of possible rejection. Lucky for me I am also dragging my friend Emma along for the ride. Wish us both luck because we are in for an adventure.

Mix n' Mingle- Round 2

First of all, the definitions:

I was thinking about the terminology used for gatherings after church services and I came up with these distinctions.

Linger Longer: A linger longer is a family ward event where parents try and talk with the friends but they can't stay for the duration due to their kids either running around, grabbing multiple cookies, and/ or the baby's nap schedule. The linger longer usually has a plethora of really good homemade food and is loud and chaotic. (I think they are great!)

Mix n' Mingle: A Mix n' Mingle is an event for single people where individuals try and talk with their friends while feeling like they should move out of their comfort zone and meet new people. (a.k.a the mix and then the mingle) The singles can stay for the duration but are usually weighing supply and demand equations while deciding when they should leave for their Sunday naps. The Mix n' Mingle usually has limited food with many store bought items. The atmosphere is contained while hopeful. (I think these have potential!)

Today was my second Mix n' Mingle in the Chevy Chase Ward.

I have decide that one way to make friends and influence people is to fill their stomachs with yummy treats. I have also decided that I will never go to a Mix n' Mingle empty handed or in flats but that is another post. The question was then sweet or savory. I went with sweet and I made The Barefoot Contessa's Outrageous Brownies. This was the first time I made this recipe but Ina made it look simple on her show. (I should have know, nothing is that simple.)

Here is the recipe.

1 pound unsalted butter

1 pound plus 12 ounces semisweet chocolate chips, divided

6 ounces unsweetened chocolate

6 extra-large eggs

3 tablespoons instant coffee powder (It was a church event so I left this out:))

2 tablespoons real vanilla extract

2 1/4 cups sugar

1 1/4 cups flour, divided- 1 cup for batter and 1/4 cup in the chips and nuts

1 tablespoon baking powder

1 teaspoon kosher salt

3 cups diced walnut pieces

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour a 13 by 18 by 1 1/2-inch sheet pan.
Melt together the butter, 1 pound chocolate chips, and bitter chocolate on top of a double boiler. Cool slightly. Stir together the eggs, instant coffee, vanilla and sugar. Stir in the warm chocolate mixture and cool to room temperature. Stir together 1 cup of the flour, baking powder and salt. Add to cooled chocolate mixture. Toss the walnuts and chocolate chips with 1/4 cup flour to coat. Then add to the chocolate batter. Pour into prepared pan.

Bake for about 30- 35 minutes, or until tester just comes out clean. Halfway through the baking, rap the pan against the oven shelf to allow air to escape from between the pan and the brownie dough. Do not over bake! Cool thoroughly, refrigerate well and cut into squares.

Copyright 1999, The Barefoot Contessa Cookbook
This was adapted from a recipe for Chocolate Globs in the Soho Charcuterie Cookbook.

I made these brownies late last night and I am not sure if I was tired but the brownies became a bit of a headache. First of all, they spilled over the pan which left a lovely burning smell. Then, after they were finished baking, I tried to cut into them and it looked like the batter had separated or I had made chocolate scrambled eggs. I put them in the refrigerator and I tried to salvage what I could this morning. The brownies have a rich, dark chocolate flavor and I could see how you would want to add in the nuts for some contrast. Next month, I am not going to experiment on a baking project and I am going to stick to something I know. Even with headache, I was pleasantly surprised when people wanted the recipe. They actually did taste really good and it is interesting how something a little above and beyond can get a response. One of the girls I met through the brownies wants to have a cooking group which would be a fun way to meet more fun singles. Thanks to the Barefoot Contessa for coming through in the end.

Concert in the Park

One of the many benefits of living in a big city is that there is always an enormous list of concerts, exhibits, lectures, movies, etc. that you can attend on any given night. Last night the singles group went to a free National Symphony Orchestra concert at the Carter Barron Amphitheatre in Rock Creek Park. They let you bring in food and the amphitheatre has really chairs so it makes for a very comfortable evening. I loved seeing all the families with the children enjoying the concert. Before the concert the orchestra holds a "petty zoo" where children and adults can come and play with different instruments.

Here is the program from last night:

Marcelo Lehninger, conductor
"Music from the Americas"
Gershwin: Cuban Overture
Williams: Olympic Fanfare and Theme
Copland: El Salón México
Chadwick: Symphonic Sketches – i. Jubilee
Gould: Latin-American Symphonette – ii. Tango
Grofé: Mississippi Suite – iv. Mardi Gras
Dvorák: Symphony No.9 "From the New World" – iv. finale

For the singles part of the evening, it was fine. I met some new people and I reconnected with some people that I have seen at other events. To be honest, I almost did not go because I just get nervous about the whole singles scene and I don't like showing up to the events by myself. But, I did go and I am so glad I did because it was a very fun night.

Batter up!

I should have titled this post, Mid-Single Activity #1. Let’s just say that being single is um, interesting. I really love to go to baseball games so it was not hard for me to convince myself to say yes to this activity. I mean seriously how weird or awkward could a Saturday night at the ballpark be? (Don’t answer that!)

I probably spoke to soon regarding the strangeness of single activities but I have decided that each activity or mix n’ mingle is just some sort of learning experience. I might as well go, grab a metaphoric hot dog, and enjoy the game. One thing that I did learn is something that I think is applicable no matter your age or situation which is, meeting new people is hard and it takes a while to feel comfortable in a new group. For any of you that know me, I am not shy. In fact, I would say that most the time I am outgoing but I have to say that lately when put into these “single” situations I become a bit reserved and quiet. If you don’t believe me I will tell you that on my first date (pd) I could hardly form words and I knew my date (It was a bit pathetic). I would try and think of something to say but nothing came out. Needless to say, that when meeting new people now, I resort to “interviewing” techniques that I use a work. I can keep the person talking and at least moving the conversation forward. Hopefully with time I will get more comfortable but I digress.

Saturday night I went to the Nationals vs. Texas Rangers game in the National's new ballpark. The stadium is big, open, and awesome. They designed the seats in such a way that you really feel that you can see the field and be apart of the action. There was lots of action on the field but unfortunately, it was all the Rangers. The final score of the game was Nationals 3- Rangers 13. (ouch!) For the most part it was a fun night with only one very strange and very awkward conversation. To tell you how bizarre, the guy I started talking to remembered playing volleyball in a swimming pool with me 11 years ago. Then he joked that his invitation to my wedding must have gotten lost. I am serious! Oh, and he couldn’t understand why I didn’t remember this interaction of ours. So funny and soooo odd.

Here are some pictures from the night.

See me in the corner?

Ben’s Chili Bowl (a D.C. institution)


See the white obelisk in the background? That is the Washington Monument.

Back in the saddle again. . .

. . .or at least getting closer to the horse.

In the last 6 months or so, many well meaning friends and family members have tried to urge, push, and persuade my rebirth into the single scene. Even though I drag my feet, I really do appreciate everyone’s encouragement.

I think my Bishop even picked up on the vibe because he asked me if I would be the liaison between my ward and the mid 30’s single’s group. (We only have 3 mid 30's singles in my ward counting me!) There have been a couple of meetings and activities that I could not attend but I finally ran out of excuses. So today I went to church in the designated ward for mid 30’s singles. To explain they took a family ward (Chevy Chase Ward) and they designated it the mid 30’s single’s ward too. Everyone meets together for Sacrament Meeting and then they split off- one Sunday school for the singles and one for the marrieds and then everyone meets back together for Elder’s Quorum or Relief Society.

It is a bit nerve racking to meet new people (seriously!). It is also very early. My family ward is about 1 mile away and starts at 1 p.m. The Chevy Chase Ward is 16 miles away and starts at 9 a.m. This really should be a no brainer.

Accomplishments:
1. I saw Senator Harry Reid (it is his ward) and his buzz-cut secret service agents. I also sat next to his wife in Relief Society.
2. I reconnected with some old friends.
3. I sat in a Sunday School class just for single people. (I haven’t done that since I was in college)
4. Signed up to go to a Nationals Baseball game with the singles this coming Saturday.
5. I met a lot of nice people.
6. Stayed for the Linger Longer/Mix n’ Mingle (my peanut butter bars were a huge success!)
7. Got home in enough time to take a Sunday nap

Yes, you should all be proud.

My Basement Flooded..AGAIN!

I usually am very happy with my single girl life but I have to say that there are a few things that would be easier with a man around the house. Every Spring, the rain comes and my basement floods. It is annoying and a bit stressful. For some reason I only discover the flooding late at night or on my way to work. I have a shop vac so I start to suck up the water but I can only do so much at a time because I have to lift the shop vac full of water to dump in the sink (and it is HEAVY). I usually get very wet and wishing that one of my friends or their husbands will knock on my door and say, "It is raining which means your basement must be flooding, can I help clean up the mess?" and then the water will quickly disappear.

I may not have friends that have a sixth sense for basement flooding but I do have wonderful friends that when I call, they will come and help me clean up the mess.

Moral to the story...a husband would clean up the flooded basement but so will your friend's husbands:)