A Good Stretch

Last Thanksgiving, my sister, her husband, four of their six children and I went to my Uncle and Aunt's house for dinner. It was actually the day before Thanksgiving but who would ever turn down a Thanksgiving dinner. As we gathered to say the blessing on our Thanksgiving feast, my Uncle thanked everyone for coming and for being so flexible with their schedules to come the day before Thanksgiving. As he said this, my nephew Eric who had just barely turned five, started commenting quietly but out loud to himself. He said, "I, I'm not flexible. Now, Jenna (Eric's sister who was 8 years old at the time) Jenna is flexible. She can do the splits. I can't do the splits. I'm not flexible but I can do the arm splits." At that point he held up his arms in the arm splits. I could not help giggling over his statement and when I pointed out Eric doing the arm splits, we all had a good laugh.


I, I'm not that flexible. Even after years of what has felt that huge bouts of stretching in my life, maybe even being put on the rack (and I do mean this more metaphorically), I still do not like being stretched. 2009 was a hard year for me. I struggled with just getting through the year. 2010 started off with great promise. I met someone new, someone wonderful and we started dating. However, as good as 2010 started, it quickly became a year of stretching. I experienced heartaches that are very private but never the less, have caused me to question some core beliefs about who I am. I got a new job. A job which I love and I feel blessed to have but that doesn't mean that it doesn't challenge me almost daily and I do miss my old friends that I left at the other bank. I turned 35 years old. I have never been good at big birthdays and I just felt older and I felt that some of my life goals and plans were slipping away. My house sold (which is awesome) but the sale resulted in losing my roommate, changing homes, changing states, changing wards and changing callings (So far, I have lost one calling and yet to gain another). I met a wonderful lady at church a few Sundays ago. As she introduced herself to me, and I told her that I was new, she nicely said, "Now, don't think we aren't an accepting bunch but it just takes about a year to get acclimated." I told her I completed understood but to be honest, it just made me feel more alone. I feel so distant from my old life and I miss not getting lost and knowing all the shortcuts. My boyfriend and I have had many more ups than downs but lately it seems that even that relationship has caused me to stretch. Please don't mistake my lack of flexibility for ingratitude. I am blessed and so grateful for all I have. I am just sore and tired of all this stretching and I am wondering that maybe, just maybe if I hang in there, I can at least learn to do the arm splits.

A Birthday Wish

For my brother Dan's 30th Birthday, his darling wife, Ellen decide to put together a package of 30's. 30 of his favorite treats, 30 bottles of root bear, 30 birthday wishes from his family and friends and these darling photos. Isn't she awesome?! By the way, so is the birthday boy. He is a great dad, a great husband and an amazing brother!

Amelia did not want to participate in the photo shoot which makes it so much more entertaining. I love the picture of her holding the 'Y' in Daddy. Priceless.

I asked Eric (my nephew) what he would like to give Dan as a birthday wish. Here is our exchange.

Aunt Chris: “Eric, what would you give Uncle Dan for his 30th Birthday Wish?”

Jenna (Eric's 9 year old sister): “A jet pack?”

Eric: “No.”

Jenna: “Oh, that’s what you want. Rocket Shoes?”

Eric: “No.” Eric thinking.....

Eric: “A rocking chair.”

Aunt Chris: “Why a rocking chair?”

Eric: “Because old people like to rock.”

Seriously, do I need to say anything else? Old people like to rock!

Happy Birthday Dan!

Adieu To The Cottage

"..she could not quit the mansion-house,
or look an adieu to the cottage...
without a sadden heart.
-Scences had passed in Uppercross (North Potomac),
which made it precious.
It stood the record of many sensations of pain, once severe,
but now softened; and of some instances of relenting feeling,
some breathings of friendship and reconciliation
which could never be looked for again,
and which could never cease to be dear.
She left it all behind her,
all but the recollection that such things had been."

Persuasion

The TRAP

I fell for it. Yep, I fell for it again. You remember my complicated crush? Well, we kept "running" into each other and after our "break-up", I decided on a new form of interaction. It looked something like this: Run into Crush, be nice, look and smell terrific, smile, and wait. Wait for Crush to say something then I of course would respond with something witty and sweet back and then, and then as he wanted to talk a bit more, I would say my good-byes be leave. Well, this cycle went on for a while quite nicely until Crush stepped up his game. When we would "run" into each other, he would flirt, comment on my hair or my outfit, say nice things and make references to our past time together. I would then do the cool chick thing again and say something witty but not flirty, try and look terrific, smile and leave him wanting just a bit more. UNTIL...I fell for it. He flirted, he smiled, my heart melted so I flirted back. Then the next time he would flirt a bit more boldly, my knees would go weak and I flirted back. I even secured myself a date to the movies. This "date" was suppose to be tonight. I came home from work and primped (and I mean primped) until there was a small miscommunication and my date was and I quote, "rescheduled". For when, I do not know. I was not too pleased and spent my night a bit ticked off. I was not mad that he reschedule (that happens), I was not mad that there was miscommunication (that happens), I was mad that I fell for the trap. Alas, tomorrow is a new day and we will start the whole cycle over again. Crush will say something, I will be nice, smell terrific, smile, say something witty and just as he wants a bit more, say my good-byes and enjoy the look on his face when I walk out the door in my knee-high lipstick red high-heel boots. Who says I play fair?

Pass the 401(k)

I am trying to figure out where to start. You see I met someone. Really, I did. He is tall, dark and handsome and he is kind, smart and funny. When I am around him my heart does wacky things. We like spending time with each other and we can talk for hours. I think he is great and I also know that he thinks that I am great. But I think I should explain the whole story...

We met and I flirted and flirted and flirted, we went out and had a fabulous time. I then flirted and flirted and we went out again and a more fabulous time. I then "ran" into him and you guessed it, I flirted, we had lunch together, we had a great time and then, well then, we broke-up. I guess you can't really call it breaking up because we weren't really dating but we did decide not to see each other (it's complicated). I have to admit I am a bit sad but I have to say this dating thing does a lot for your self-esteem. Oh, and apparently I can still flirt. Talk about a win win experience.

However, with all of this self esteem I still had one issue. The issue is that I am not a breakfast beverage. Let me explain.

My date, my wonderful fabulous date told me that when he looks at relationships, friendships, new projects, etc. he asks himself the question, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?". The first time he said it to me, I said, "What???" and he said, "You know, is it really worth all the work to drink freshly squeezed orange juice?" I have to admit that I was a bit taken back. I come from an industrial people, I was born in the beehive state, isn't all work worth it? When we "broke-up", I keep thinking about the phrase and asking myself (in a pathetic, whiny voice), "Why am I not worth the squeeze?" Truth be told, I harped on this concept of freshly squeezed orange juice for quite a while. I even thought (in a desperate moment) about sending him a carton of juice with a note that said, "Definitely worth the squeeze". However, after thinking about our complicate issues and thinking about myself as with and without pulp, I realized something fantastic.

I am not, nor will I ever be orange juice. I am not something that on a whim you can decide that you want. I am not a quick fix to thirst or an after-thought at breakfast. No, I am not an empty calorie breakfast beverage. I am a 401(k). I am an investment. I am something that is long-term, steady and even though I may have my ups and downs, I am loyal and I will pay off big time in the end.

So, am I worth the squeeze? Maybe not, but I am definitely worth the investment.

Great Name

This post was written a long time ago and I am just posting it....sorry. Where has this year gone?

When I was a teenager, I sort-of had a small crush on Steve Young. Ok, I REALLY had a large crush on Steve Young and by the way, what normal, Mormon girl did not have a crush on him. Now, I wasn't naive enough to think that Steve and I would ever meet, date and get married but I did think he was quite cute. One day, I walked into a chapel in Potomac, Maryland for church when I saw him. Steve Young was in my church, in my chapel and I didn't know what to do. I was unavailable at the time and he was still single and cute and famous. I watched as a crowd formed around the football star. There were lots of smiles, lots of back slapping and lots of ooohs and ahhs. I was asked if I wanted to meet him and I quickly said, "No." I didn't want to ooh and ahh and I didn't want to try and figure out what to say so I sat down and just tried to focus on something, anything else. So, just before the meeting started who would sit right in front of me? You guessed it. I could have reached out and given him a back-slap of my own. I don't remember what the meeting was about but I do remember feel really uncomfortable being so close to someone so famous. After the meeting everyone came to Steve's row, just in front of me, to back-slap some more. So, what did I do, I snuck out the back of the chapel to avoid all of the awkwardness. The halls where very empty and as I turn a corner to head to my class room, I ran into another person trying to sneak off. Yep, I ran right smack into Mr. Young himself. Now, I was really panicked and I wondered what I should say. He smiled, looked at me and said, "Hi". I looked up for the briefest of seconds, my face red with embarrassment and awkwardness and said, "Hi" back. Then I put my head down and kept on walking. My moment with a BYU legend, a NFL superstar, the most eligible Mormon bachelor and what do I do, I looked at the ground and walked away.

I don't regret my reaction. I just accepted the fact that I would rather avoid the awkwardness of meeting someone famous. So, it is a very strange thing that I would plan a night to go to a cookbook signing and meet the host of the cooking show America's Test Kitchen, Christopher Kimball. I know that many people don't even know who he is but to me, it was a big deal. I like his show and I love his cookbooks. I begged my friend Jane to come with me so we drove to Chevy Chase, listened to him talk about his show for 20 or so minutes, then we lined up to have him sign our cookbooks. I have brought 3 with me to get signed for gifts and I was nervous and excited. When they finally got to me, I shyly (I know, not like me) put my books in front of him and he asked my name. When I said, Chris, he seem genuinely pleased that we shared the same name. He made a few passing comments and I thanked him (stumbling my way through it) for helping me become a better cook. We smiled for a few pictures and then we were done.
This is what he wrote in my cookbook, "Chris, Great to meet you- Great Name. Christopher Kimball.

Success. Talked to a famous person, did not make too big of a fool of myself, got awesome gifts, now I am thinking, "Bring it on Steve Young."

It's French for "already seen"

Have you ever all of a sudden felt as if you have seen what you are looking at, before? Had the conversation that you are having, thought the thoughts, felt the feelings, that you are thinking and feeling at that moment, before?

Whenever it happens to me, I try to remember where I was when I thought or saw or felt those things, before but somehow my mind always responses, you were right here. You were sitting or standing or driving here in the exact spot, before. My mind tries a little harder to try and remember, to figure out the puzzle and then something says, "Oh, it is just déjà vu." Just déjà vu? I use to get frustrated when I experienced this phenomenon because I wanted to know the trick, the secret, the reason but then a friend of mine told me what her Pastor thought of déjà vu. He said, "Déjà vu is just the Lord's way of letting you know you are on the right path."

Well, that answer gave me some ease. Now, when I experience that feeling as if I have done something before, my mind starts to strain to remember and to crack the code then something says, "It's just déjà vu and the Lord's is just letting you know you are on the right path" and then my mind starts straining to figure out what path this is and where it is going.