The TRAP

I fell for it. Yep, I fell for it again. You remember my complicated crush? Well, we kept "running" into each other and after our "break-up", I decided on a new form of interaction. It looked something like this: Run into Crush, be nice, look and smell terrific, smile, and wait. Wait for Crush to say something then I of course would respond with something witty and sweet back and then, and then as he wanted to talk a bit more, I would say my good-byes be leave. Well, this cycle went on for a while quite nicely until Crush stepped up his game. When we would "run" into each other, he would flirt, comment on my hair or my outfit, say nice things and make references to our past time together. I would then do the cool chick thing again and say something witty but not flirty, try and look terrific, smile and leave him wanting just a bit more. UNTIL...I fell for it. He flirted, he smiled, my heart melted so I flirted back. Then the next time he would flirt a bit more boldly, my knees would go weak and I flirted back. I even secured myself a date to the movies. This "date" was suppose to be tonight. I came home from work and primped (and I mean primped) until there was a small miscommunication and my date was and I quote, "rescheduled". For when, I do not know. I was not too pleased and spent my night a bit ticked off. I was not mad that he reschedule (that happens), I was not mad that there was miscommunication (that happens), I was mad that I fell for the trap. Alas, tomorrow is a new day and we will start the whole cycle over again. Crush will say something, I will be nice, smell terrific, smile, say something witty and just as he wants a bit more, say my good-byes and enjoy the look on his face when I walk out the door in my knee-high lipstick red high-heel boots. Who says I play fair?

Pass the 401(k)

I am trying to figure out where to start. You see I met someone. Really, I did. He is tall, dark and handsome and he is kind, smart and funny. When I am around him my heart does wacky things. We like spending time with each other and we can talk for hours. I think he is great and I also know that he thinks that I am great. But I think I should explain the whole story...

We met and I flirted and flirted and flirted, we went out and had a fabulous time. I then flirted and flirted and we went out again and a more fabulous time. I then "ran" into him and you guessed it, I flirted, we had lunch together, we had a great time and then, well then, we broke-up. I guess you can't really call it breaking up because we weren't really dating but we did decide not to see each other (it's complicated). I have to admit I am a bit sad but I have to say this dating thing does a lot for your self-esteem. Oh, and apparently I can still flirt. Talk about a win win experience.

However, with all of this self esteem I still had one issue. The issue is that I am not a breakfast beverage. Let me explain.

My date, my wonderful fabulous date told me that when he looks at relationships, friendships, new projects, etc. he asks himself the question, "Is the juice worth the squeeze?". The first time he said it to me, I said, "What???" and he said, "You know, is it really worth all the work to drink freshly squeezed orange juice?" I have to admit that I was a bit taken back. I come from an industrial people, I was born in the beehive state, isn't all work worth it? When we "broke-up", I keep thinking about the phrase and asking myself (in a pathetic, whiny voice), "Why am I not worth the squeeze?" Truth be told, I harped on this concept of freshly squeezed orange juice for quite a while. I even thought (in a desperate moment) about sending him a carton of juice with a note that said, "Definitely worth the squeeze". However, after thinking about our complicate issues and thinking about myself as with and without pulp, I realized something fantastic.

I am not, nor will I ever be orange juice. I am not something that on a whim you can decide that you want. I am not a quick fix to thirst or an after-thought at breakfast. No, I am not an empty calorie breakfast beverage. I am a 401(k). I am an investment. I am something that is long-term, steady and even though I may have my ups and downs, I am loyal and I will pay off big time in the end.

So, am I worth the squeeze? Maybe not, but I am definitely worth the investment.

Great Name

This post was written a long time ago and I am just posting it....sorry. Where has this year gone?

When I was a teenager, I sort-of had a small crush on Steve Young. Ok, I REALLY had a large crush on Steve Young and by the way, what normal, Mormon girl did not have a crush on him. Now, I wasn't naive enough to think that Steve and I would ever meet, date and get married but I did think he was quite cute. One day, I walked into a chapel in Potomac, Maryland for church when I saw him. Steve Young was in my church, in my chapel and I didn't know what to do. I was unavailable at the time and he was still single and cute and famous. I watched as a crowd formed around the football star. There were lots of smiles, lots of back slapping and lots of ooohs and ahhs. I was asked if I wanted to meet him and I quickly said, "No." I didn't want to ooh and ahh and I didn't want to try and figure out what to say so I sat down and just tried to focus on something, anything else. So, just before the meeting started who would sit right in front of me? You guessed it. I could have reached out and given him a back-slap of my own. I don't remember what the meeting was about but I do remember feel really uncomfortable being so close to someone so famous. After the meeting everyone came to Steve's row, just in front of me, to back-slap some more. So, what did I do, I snuck out the back of the chapel to avoid all of the awkwardness. The halls where very empty and as I turn a corner to head to my class room, I ran into another person trying to sneak off. Yep, I ran right smack into Mr. Young himself. Now, I was really panicked and I wondered what I should say. He smiled, looked at me and said, "Hi". I looked up for the briefest of seconds, my face red with embarrassment and awkwardness and said, "Hi" back. Then I put my head down and kept on walking. My moment with a BYU legend, a NFL superstar, the most eligible Mormon bachelor and what do I do, I looked at the ground and walked away.

I don't regret my reaction. I just accepted the fact that I would rather avoid the awkwardness of meeting someone famous. So, it is a very strange thing that I would plan a night to go to a cookbook signing and meet the host of the cooking show America's Test Kitchen, Christopher Kimball. I know that many people don't even know who he is but to me, it was a big deal. I like his show and I love his cookbooks. I begged my friend Jane to come with me so we drove to Chevy Chase, listened to him talk about his show for 20 or so minutes, then we lined up to have him sign our cookbooks. I have brought 3 with me to get signed for gifts and I was nervous and excited. When they finally got to me, I shyly (I know, not like me) put my books in front of him and he asked my name. When I said, Chris, he seem genuinely pleased that we shared the same name. He made a few passing comments and I thanked him (stumbling my way through it) for helping me become a better cook. We smiled for a few pictures and then we were done.
This is what he wrote in my cookbook, "Chris, Great to meet you- Great Name. Christopher Kimball.

Success. Talked to a famous person, did not make too big of a fool of myself, got awesome gifts, now I am thinking, "Bring it on Steve Young."

It's French for "already seen"

Have you ever all of a sudden felt as if you have seen what you are looking at, before? Had the conversation that you are having, thought the thoughts, felt the feelings, that you are thinking and feeling at that moment, before?

Whenever it happens to me, I try to remember where I was when I thought or saw or felt those things, before but somehow my mind always responses, you were right here. You were sitting or standing or driving here in the exact spot, before. My mind tries a little harder to try and remember, to figure out the puzzle and then something says, "Oh, it is just déjà vu." Just déjà vu? I use to get frustrated when I experienced this phenomenon because I wanted to know the trick, the secret, the reason but then a friend of mine told me what her Pastor thought of déjà vu. He said, "Déjà vu is just the Lord's way of letting you know you are on the right path."

Well, that answer gave me some ease. Now, when I experience that feeling as if I have done something before, my mind starts to strain to remember and to crack the code then something says, "It's just déjà vu and the Lord's is just letting you know you are on the right path" and then my mind starts straining to figure out what path this is and where it is going.

They Bring Ice Cream.....

We were talking the other day in seminary about how people can comfort us when we are experiencing trials. One of my students called out, "they bring ice cream". How true. It wasn't exactly the answer I was looking for but who can argue with a little counseling session with Ben & Jerry?

Mr. Monk and the Mormon

Have you ever had an experience that left you wondering, "Seriously, this can't really be happening?" I had an experience this week that has still left me quite puzzled and now that I am writing the events down, I am not sure this post will ever get posted. This whole situation could be chalked up to a crazy single girl story but at the end, I still don't have any answers. So, let's begin. About a month or so ago, I was walking in to the gym when I say this cute guy. I checked for a wedding ban (this is a must as a single girl but doesn't guarantee that the guy is single) acknowledged his cuteness and moved on. He was tall, broad, and bald. However, as I was leaving the gym, I noticed him again but this time I took him off my list of possibilities for reasons that will be come obvious by the end of this post. Over the following months, I would see him, question his situation in my head, again acknowledge his cuteness, and move on. Well, this week something changed. On Thursday, we happened to pass each other in the gym and our eyes met, I smiled, he smiled and then I quickly looked at the ground. I am a bit gun-shy and I am not good at the whole, keep eye contact, smile, flirt thing. On Saturday, I was walking into the gym when I saw him coming in behind me so I held the door for 10 seconds and said something stupid as he thanked me for holding the door. I honestly was not flirting with him but it seemed rude to just let the door slam in his face when he was behind me. I started on the treadmill and started working out in my own world. After my treadmill warm-up, I decided to go to lift some weights. I had my headphones on and I just went about my usually routine. However, HE was lifting weights too. I honestly tried not to pay attention to him and I even tried to act coy but it seemed as if we were operating in a very small circle. I went over to the leg machines and I thought I could feel him looking at me. I did my bicep curls by the mirror and he came over and I thought he actually wanted to say something but I did my best to avoid eye contact. He walked over to the hand weights himself and then he had to move out of my way so I could put my weights back. Believe me when I say that I wasn't flirting (I don't really know how). We just happened to be lifting weights at the same time. When I was done with my routine, I went to get my chart and sat down on an exercise ball to fill out my day's accomplishments. All of a sudden, HE walks up and asks me if it helps to keep a record of my workouts. After I quickly recovered from the fact that he was talking to me, I told him it did and I quickly flipped through the chart I keep. I asked him about the record that he kept because I watched him flip through his day planner during his workout. "Oh", he said. "That is not a chart, those are prayers that I am working on. You see, I am a Buddhist Monk." SERIOUSLY! I am not kidding. I have never had a man come up and talk to me in the gym and the one guy that finally comes up to talk to me is a Buddhist Monk????? Luckily, I already thought he was a monk to the fact that he came into the gym sometimes dressed like this sometimes but I really hoped that he wasn't. He is cute.

So, I did what I am good at and I interviewed him. I asked him why he became a monk and we talked about religion and such. It was not the usual first meeting questioning. I kept thinking to myself, "You are a monk. WHY are you talking to me?" I wanted to think that it is because we both have not dated in a long time and we are both religious but seriously, how would he have known that? I know that monks take many vows so it didn't make any sense that he would want to "get to know me". I am sure that it wouldn't work to go to dinner or go to the movies. It is just strange. I have no idea what to think about the situation so, I introduced myself, "Umm, my name is Chris, it's nice to meet you." "It is nice to meet you, my name is John Paul." John Paul, a good strong New Testament name. John Paul- the Buddhist monk. So, where does that leave Mr. Monk and Mormon? Who knows but going to the gym has become a lot more interesting.

Valentine's Day Project

One of my favorite activities is to walk through any and all craft stores. I love looking and envisioning my next craft project. To be honest, I have not had much time for craft projects but I still love to go and plan. So, when I went into AC Moore the other week and I found wooden hearts on a stick on sale, I decided to buy 40 of them and get crafting.

In December, a friend of mine from church showed me her family's Christmas service star: a wooden star on a stick. The star was painted gold with lots of glitter and ribbon. The idea is that one person does a good deed for another member of the family.  Then secretly, the wooden star is placed on the bed of the person who received the kindness. Then that person who received the kindness takes a turn serving another member of the family. The stick keeps getting passed from one family member to another as good deeds flow through the house.

I thought this was such a cute idea. And to be honest I really really wanted my own wooden gold star on a stick. But when I saw the hearts I decided to make my own service stick for Valentine's Day, Same idea, same plan, different holiday. So, I bought the sticks and headed home.

My friend and I were going to do the project together but with our busy schedules, we just divided and conquered. We bought cherry red spray and glitter spray paint and we went to work. I wanted to spray paint outside but it was so cold I thought I could just spray paint the hearts in my basement. I read the warning on the spray cans and opened a window and turned off the furnace. Well, that was an extremely bad idea. My house smelled like spray paint for days and the fumes were so thick that I did not turn my heat back on for 2 1/2 days. It was cold and a bit miserable but it was worth it! The hearts turned out so cute.

I tried to take the poem attached to my friend's gold star and rewrite it to fit Valentine's Day but it just didn't work. So I decided that I would just write my own Valentine's Day poem. I gave the hearts to each of my sibling's families and my seminary kids.

February fourteenth, it's the day
When your friends and fam'ly give gifts to say
I love you, I like you, You cutie pie
Some even write love notes up in the sky.

This red wooden heart is my gift for you,
Hoping you'll spread kindness and service too
'Cause love's not love 'til you give it away
With thoughts, in actions and the words you say

At least this month and perhaps even more
Give a kindly deed, no need for a store
Do it secret, keep your mouth shut tight
Quickly place the heart on their bed that night!

Then it's their turn to continue the chain
Feeling good inside brings secret acclaim
The heart will pass from one to another
Siblings, your dad, don't forget your mother

A domino effect of kindly deeds
Bringing smiles, and love, even meeting needs
Place this heart, they will surely wonder who
Spreading happiness, joy this whole month through

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!