Matchmaker

In April 2009, I went on two dates with a very nice guy (let’s call him Science Guy). We actually had some things in common like the fact that we grew-up within minutes of each other, we knew many of the same people and we both worked in science labs at Universities at one point in our lives. However after the two dates, I knew that the relationship wasn’t going forward and I sensed he thought the same thing. So, we said our good-byes and we moved on. I would like to say, THE END but it wasn’t the end.

A few months later I was sitting in church and I thought, “You know what?! Science Guy would be a good match for that single girl I met at church (let’s call her Science Girl).” I then proceeded to talk myself out of the match because really what could I do? The next week, the thought kept coming to me in very strange ways and I finally decided to act upon it.

So, I called Science Guy. At first he was defensive about the fact that he hadn’t called and it had been months since our last date. I quickly reassured him that I wasn’t calling him to somehow “reconnect” and he relaxed a bit. I asked him if he knew Science Girl and he said, “No.” so I told him about the thought that kept coming into my mind and I told him that I would love to set-up a meeting/ date between the two of them. I also might have mentioned how much in common I thought they had and how I thought they would be a great match. He was so nice about the whole thing and thanked me for thinking of him. Then he said that now that I explained to him who Science Girl was, he actually did know her and her sister. He had nice things to say about her married sister and Science Girl so I tried to close the deal. I said, “Well, I REALLY think you should ask her out.” He said he would think about it and I told him that I thought he was a really nice guy and that he deserved a really nice girl and that he should ask her out (I probably told him three times, yes we can say overkill). I think I was pretty blunt and forward but by the end of the conversation I had the feeling that he wasn’t going to call her.

Fast forward almost a year and a half later. I was at a basketball game last week (Go Wizards!) with some friends and Science Girl was there. She was sitting on a different row and I was sitting by a friend of mine who just got engaged (We’ll call her Bling). I was telling Bling about my Employee Referral/ Dating idea and then I told her the story about Science Guy and Science Girl (she knows both of them). She thought about the match for a second and then agreed that it could be a great match. Bling asked me to give her Science Guy’s phone number. She said that she was going to call him and let him know that she thinking about him and that she thought that he would make a good match with Science Girl. (She wasn’t going to tell him HOW she thought about the match.) The next morning I received this text from Bling, “I just talked to Science Guy. He was happy to take Science Girl’s info and ask her out. Yahoo! ……..I hope it works!” (Maybe it will just take two different people giving Science Guy the same idea that will get him to ask Science Girl out.)

So, back to my original theory of matchmaking, dating referrals can be successful and we should try and help others find matches. I think we should all keep our fingers crossed that maybe Science Guy and Science Girl might someday become a Science Family with little Science babies. (Too much?) Well, maybe we can just hope that Science Guy and Science Girl can have a nice dating experience and that this nice dating experience can lead to more confidence for both of them, which can lead to more dates for both of them which will eventually result in a marriage for both of them together or to different people. You just never know.

Employee Referral Program or a.k.a A Win-Win Situation

At work we have an employee referral program. Here is how the program works: if you refer an applicant and the company hires the applicant, you receive $250-500 (depending on the grade level of the employee) when the applicant/ now new employee reaches their 90-day anniversary and $250-500 (again, depending on the grade level of the employee) when the new employee reaches their 6-month anniversary. It is a pretty good deal. Refer good employees like yourself to work for a great company and receive a little extra spending money for yourself. I think this is a win-win situation.

Over my eleven years of recruiting and working for different companies, my best hires have been (for the most part) the hires that were referred by current employees. I think this process works for because when your employees are happy at work, they want other people to be happy with them and they refer their friends. It also works because employees are not going to refer just anyone. They are going to be careful who they refer because they think that the applicant/employee’s performance is in a part, a reflection on them.

So, my question is, if an employee referral program works so well for filling my open positions at work, why can’t it work for my love life? Ok, stay with me for a moment, take this example, if my friends, family members, co-workers happened to keep my singleness in the back of their minds, then they might know or meet someone that could be a referral/match for me. I am not saying this is about blind dates. This isn’t just a date where your friend happens to know someone single and they know you are single so therefore, they think you the two of you must be a match. (Because as we know, being single is not enough to have in common to keep a relationship going). In fact, this is about knowing two people who you think might a) have fun together b) be a resource for each other so they can each meet other singles c) be a match for a more permanent long-term relationship (marriage). Someone might say to themselves, “My single, unattached male friend likes x, y and z and I think his likes and his personality might work with my single, unattached female friend’s likes and personality.” Voila- we have a potential match!

I know this sound easier than it is and I know that this process isn’t a guarantee but we should try it. We should actually try it for all singles we know. You never know when, where or how you could make a match. Dating referrals can be successful. They say, “Every member a missionary”, why not also, “Every member a matchmaker”? It’s not a bad idea. You might not get any referral money but you will be the hero in some couple’s fairy tale story when someone asks them the question, “So, how did you two meet?” and that really should be quite satisfying. Like I said it is a win-win situation so get out there and make some matches!!